Despicable She
by AngelicInkLing
Summary: A retelling of 'Despicable Me' using Kim Possible characters. It's Despicable Me with a Kim Possible twist.. AU [Thanks to Imyoshi for being my BETA for this story]


Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible.

_The Great Pyramid of Giza_

The sun beat down on the vast sandy wasteland of Egypt. Its heat scorched the barren land as a tourist bus arrived at the site of the Great Pyramid of Giza. Not one single ounce shade could be seen anywhere and the only thing that people could rely on were their umbrellas and other sun protection that they have been sold to at the hotel.

"So hot," a tourist complained.

One by one they hopped off the bus and were soon gathered around their tour guide. Some were very excited to see it, while others were grumpy due to the heat. The tour guide, a veteran of the job was used to this and he knew how to handle them. Offer some info, take some pictures, and then coax them into going to a nice air conditioned bar where they could spend their money.

"Life is good." the veteran thought.

As the group walked closer and closer to the Great Pyramid, a little boy along with his Mom and Dad came up with a brilliant idea. He was going to fly his plane over the Great Pyramid and no one was going to stop him. His paper plane was going to fly and it was going to soar over the pyramid. Slowly, he started to pick up his pace and soon enough he was almost at a full speed charge. He was almost there and he could feel the wind brushing his skin.

And then he saw it, a ramp that was used by the builders and guards.

To his little eyes, the ramp looked like a landing strip and his plane was ready to run through it and fly. The paper plane sailed through the air followed by the little plump boy. As he flew through the air, a collection of gasps were heard from all the onlookers. This brought his mother's and father's attention towards him. She could not watch while his father was too stunned to move.

He was going to fall and he was going to get hurt or worse, die.

It was supposed to be a gruesome death. People were expecting his small body to splat against the solid foundation of the pyramid and that was going to be the end of him, but instead of the boy's scream and bones cracking, everyone heard a loud bump. This made everyone take a second look, even the ones who couldn't watch turned to look once more.

Everyone who witnessed what had happened could only look in disbelief. The boy not only bounced once, but twice, and as he fell on the pyramid for the third time, a long high pitched whistle was heard. At first they couldn't put their finger on what was happening, but when they saw the pyramid deflating, they started to realize that something was very wrong.

News of the theft of the Great Pyramid of Giza quickly spread throughout the world like wildfire. Everyone knew of what had happened and not a single person was left oblivious of it. One way or another they have heard or have been informed of the theft that occurred and everyone had their own opinion on it. Whichever or whatever it may be, the only question that was being asked right now was... who stole the Great Pyramid of Giza?

As the news continued to circulate all over the world, two super villains were trying to figure out if the other had a hand in what had just happened. Inside a laboratory, in a suburban house, in an undisclosed location in Middleton, Shego and Dr. Drakken were talking about the theft that people are now calling the heist of the century.

"I always knew you were a great thief Shego, but stealing the Great Pyramid of Giza, brilliant!" Dr. Drakken excitedly congratulated Shego. He was beyond ecstatic as he tried to shake her hand and hug her, all at the same time. This made Shego forcefully push him off her.

'So that means he didn't do it. I guess I overestimated him.' Shego thought as she looked at the goofy mad scientist. He was standing there in front of her with a huge grin on his face and an expectant look. This told Shego that he was waiting for the green skinned super villain to give in and hug him.

This made the evil sidekick raise one eyebrow at him as if asking, 'Really?'

"Doy. How in the world can I steal that big thing? And how can I steal it if I've been here with you all this time?" Shego asked. Irritation was starting to build up in her.

"Breathe in... breathe out." Shego mentally told herself as she tried to calm down.

"Well... You're one of the... greatest thieves..." Dr. Drakken mumbled to himself as he pondered on what to say.

"Stop that or else you'll hurt yourself." Shego dryly said while raising her hand to stop his mumbling.

As if a light bulb lit up in his head, Drakken jumped up with excitement and turned to look at Shego. Fire was burning in his eyes and a glint of triumph could be seen. He got it! He was able to get it, and then realization dawned in.

"That means somebody beat us to it." Drakken said in both shock and disbelief.

"You know you're right Dr. D. That pyramid theft was a brilliant job and a thing like that would make other previous villainous attempts look rather... pathetic." Shego egged the evil doctor. This made Drakken look at her with his stupid lost-puppy-look.

She could see that the wheels inside his head were turning and he was finally grasping what had happened. Times likes these were rare and she knew that if she pushed his buttons, then he would be able to do something great.

Suddenly, Drakken's eyes grew to the size of saucers as another idea hit him.

"That wouldn't be right... I-I need to do something." Dr. Drakken mumbled to himself as he paced back and forth in front of Shego.

This was bad, really bad and he needed to do something about it. If he doesn't do something to overshadow the Giza heist then Shego would never let it go and his friends in the villain community might do the same.

"Would you stop acting like a ping-pong ball?" Shego groaned with irritation as his back and forth movement was making her head hurt.

This was the bad thing about the little blue man. Once he starts thinking then there was no way of getting him to stay put. Usually Shego went shopping to avoid this, but right now wasn't the best idea as they have a heist record to overthrow.

"That's it!" Drakken shouted with excitement.

"What's it?" Shego asked in confusion.

"We are going to do the biggest job the world has ever seen." Drakken said with confidence.

"And what might that be, Einstein?" Shego asked in irritation.

"We are going to steal... wait for it... the Moon!" Dr. Drakken announced, following it

with his signature evil playground bully laughter.

"That is your best idea ever!" Shego told him with fake enthusiasm.

"Do you really think so Shego?" Drakken curiously asked.

"Of course, I support you all the way."

Drakken couldn't believe his ears. His sarcastic and wisecrack of a sidekick was supporting his idea. This was the first time that she did so without questioning his idea. Was his ideas, starting to get to her? Was she now really seeing his brilliance?

And that's when all his hopes came crashing down, Shego couldn't help the laughter inside of her anymore, and a snort escaped her lips.

"Shego!" Drakken shouted angrily.

"The moon, really," Shego said before completely laughing out loud.

All the blood in Drakken's little blue body rushed to his head. He knew it! Shego was just pulling his legs again. Of all the times and for all the things she could laugh on… this was not one of them.

"Not this time!" Drakken thought. Quickly, he made his way to his little safe in the control room and took out a large pile of documents and then threw it at Shego's feet.

"You do know this is going to cost a lot, right?" Shego asked as she looked at him from behind one of the folders.

"Of course I know that, Shego. But who said anything about putting out money?" Dr. Drakken asked with an evil grin on his face. This made the green skinned sidekick to return the evil grin that the doctor had on his face. She was starting to like the doctor's idea and she definitely liked the confidence he was showing.

"Okay, I'll bite. So what do we need to steal?" Shego asked.

It took the greater part of the day for Drakken to fully divulge all the information he had on his plan with Shego. It was a big job and he needed her up to speed up if they were going to succeed. Convincing Shego was easy if he offered to pay her well. The next part of the plan however was not such an easy task.

To be successful in any villainous endeavor, there was one person that they needed in on the job. And that person was none other than 'Big Daddy' Brotherson. Shego was hesitant to include the black market ruler into this scheme of theirs, but she knew the importance that he was going to play. Once she and Drakken had finished discussing their plan for their big operation, they both headed towards the remote part of Lowerton.

Their hovercraft zoomed through Middleton and in no time at all, entered Lowerton airspace. Their destination, an undisclosed area (for normal folks) that holds the black market for the whole Tri-State area, a place filled with smugglers, dealers, and killers. Treasure and bounty could be sold and purchased either by different currency or information. Everything anyone ever needed or wanted could be found here, that is, if one could pay the price for it. Arguably, people whisper in the shadows that even GJ and WWE got their information and gears from this place. That is why Shego and Drakken needed Big Daddy Brotherson. He was the link that they needed to put together the pieces of their plan.

As their hovercraft landed with a soft thud on the clearing beside what seemed to appear as an abandoned warehouse, a shadow appeared near them and instantly, Shego took a defensive stance in front of Drakken. There were only a handful of people who could say that they got this close to her without her noticing and this person before her was not yet in that list.

"Big Daddy is waiting for you. Please come this way." The man politely informed them.

Soon they came into an empty hall and were greeted by none other than Big Daddy himself. Shego couldn't help but feel both impressed and pissed off by this turn of events. Impressed, because Big Daddy got one up on them and pissed off because there could either be someone selling them out or their lair could be bugged, Shego was hoping for the latter. Once the formalities were out of the way, Drakken got down to business and started telling Big Daddy about their plan to steal the moon.

"This all sounds good and promising Drakken." Big Daddy admitted while rubbing his chin.

If he was going to be honest with himself, Drakken's plan was indeed promising. It's true that most of the plans that the blue doctor had approached him with were completely idiotic but this one seemed to be the redeemer for them all.

"So, you'll give me the information I want on where to get the things I need?" Drakken excitedly asked the chubby bald leader of the black market. This made Big Daddy laugh and shake his head. People never betray his expectations. You give them a hand and they want to take your whole arm with it.

"Of course not. You don't even have the shrink ray yet. You need to have leverage to ask or bargain, Drakken." Big Daddy irritated replied. He couldn't believe the audacity of the blue skin mad scientist. The law of equivalent exchange doesn't just apply to normal things, but it does so as well with evil transactions. Big Daddy was starting to get ticked off with the way this conversation was going and from the look of things; it seems to him that it was just a waste of time to hear more of what the other person was going to say.

"But you said that the plan is promising." Dr. Drakken whined like a little kid.

This little tantrum of Drakken ticked off Big Daddy. Without so much as a signal or a word of warning, his giant bodyguard suddenly appeared out from the shadows and charged forward towards Dr. Drakken. Luckily for Dr. D, Shego was alert and she was able to quickly jump in between him and Big Daddy's bodyguard, stopping the latter from his charge.

"No need to get physical." Shego said with an evil smirk as her hands immediately ignited with plasma, making the bodyguard step back and think twice about attacking them. Seeing this as a golden opportunity to escape, Shego grabbed Dr. Drakken's hand and quickly pulled him towards the exit.

"Come on Dr.D let's go get that shrink ray." Shego eyed Big daddy, "And you… we'll be back."

A/N: So… how did you readers like Despicable me with a twist of Kim Possible added? I really hope you guys like it… I know most of you will say that you already know where this is going, but the twist will definitely be worth the read. Thanks for reading and hope you support this story.


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